Croydonites is a festival of theatre and performance. Our mission is to showcase local theatre makers, and bring some of the best contemporary performance work from around the UK to Croydon doorsteps.

ROSIE YADID
WED 1 JULY / 7PM
In her debut solo hour, Rosie Yadid combines burlesque, musical theatre, storytelling and clown in this bittersweet love song to unsung divas and lyrical exploration of Jewish archetypes.
18+

EMMY FYLES
WED 1 JULY / 9PM
Join Emmy Fyles (BBC3, Comedy Central, LADbible) as she serves up her “multimedia extravaganza (PowerPoint show she made on her laptop) exploring why things are a dystopian-level bin fire for women in 2026.
(But, like, in a totally funny, cute way…)
18+

B!TCH ON THE MIC
THU 2 JULY / 7PM
Packed with sharp humour, surprising tenderness and a host of unruly characters who refuse to stay quiet, B!TCH ON THE MIC is both a performance and an unfiltered conversation with the inner critic.
Please note: This show contains strong language, partial nudity and themes of mental health and is not for the easily offended or faint-hearted.
Suitable for 18+

EMMA DAVIES
THU 2 JULY / 9PM
Join HR consultant, Alllison Pope, as she concludes the workforce restructure at Remark Insurance and delivers the final staff briefing. However, things don’t go to plan as her past won’t stay buried… not even in the slides.
Suitable for 18+

ANDY BONE
THU 2 JULY / 7.30PM
Fitzroy! A show ‘disguised as a lecture’ about the Captain of The Beagle – the ship that took Darwin to The Galápagos Islands. A light, educational show exploring class, empire, race and racism, mental health, love, jealousy and the weather.
16+

MADDIE HURLEY
FRI 3 JULY / 7PM
Doomsday is a bold multimedia theatre experience reimagining Croydon’s past, present, and possible futures. Blending archival footage, interviews, and live performance, three performers navigate cycles of regeneration, resilience, and reinvention. This work-in-progress invites audiences to question progress, place, and the enduring power of urban community.
Suitable for 12+

SISTER BRANDY BEX
FRI 3 JULY / 9PM
Join Sister Brandy Bex on a riotous journey through NHS madness. From dating doctors to dodging disaster, she’s turning it all into comedy gold. Outrageous stories, parody songs, and shameless camp spectacle: nursing’s never been this wild!
Suitable for 18+

AGUDO DANCE CO.
FRI 3 JULY / 7PM
Merging the rhythmic precision of Kathak, the fiery passion of flamenco, and the fluidity of contemporary dance, Agudo crafts a multi-layered exploration of a personal odyssey from West to East.
Suitable for 14+

MIKA HOCKMAN
FRI 3 JULY / 9PM
How do you tell your story when silence is law?
Un-Muted is a powerful solo performance that dives into the silence of legal spaces where voices are erased. Created from Mika Hockman’s groundbreaking research, this evocative piece weaves fractured language, haunting imagery, and untold truths about custody, alienation, and the invisible wounds left by silence. Don’t miss the chance to hear the voiceless speak.
Trigger warning: contains domestic violence content
18+

FUNMI ADEWOLE ELLIOTT
SAT 4 JULY / 1PM
In a City, Near a Forest is a solo storytelling performance in which Dr Kemi Oloruntobi’s forestry career talk transforms into a journey through childhood memories, her grandmother’s folktales, and her fascination with forest ecology. Through four treasured stories and the call-and-response of African storytelling, she explores curiosity, connection and heritage.
Suitable for 8+

ROB DUNCAN
SAT 4 JULY / 5PM
An award-winning printer shares his journey in the print industry and the journey of printing through history. This show celebrates Rob Duncan’s 15+ years in the printing industry and debuts a new category of dramatic arts – performance printing.
Suitable for 16+

JENNY LOCKYER
SAT 4 JULY / 6PM
An original one-woman show featuring theatrical shenanigans and very funny songs!
Suitable for 14+

STARDUST
SAT 4 JULY / 7.15PM
A glitter-soaked tragicomedy from a fallen icon with nothing left to lose – except the will to perform, her accoutrements and possibly her marbles.
Expect 24-carat cabaret, glamour, a constellation of chaos, a confetti of catharsis, and a show-stopping finale of hope.
Suitable for 14+

HOME GROWN
SAT 4 JULY / 8PM
Home Grown brings together Croydon’s brightest and best spoken word performers from across all parts of our wonderfully diverse community, exploring themes of love, sex, death, the urban environment and the lived experience of all the cultures and peoples that combine to make the Cronx a unique creative environment.
16+

JAKE YAPP
SAT 4 JULY / 8.30PM
Welcome to Britain’s brightest new game show for 1976!
It’s a bit like watching an old episode of the Generation Game, only the host is only faintly masking crippling self-doubt, the assistant hates him, and the set is made of cardboard. Ok, it’s EXACTLY like the Generation Game. Expect a total unawareness of political correctness, barely-contained chaos, and a lot of cigarettes flying about.
Suitable for 16+

Granny Pearl – A Magical Tale of the Sea!
SUN 5 JULY / 2PM
Spending time with Granny Pearl is always magical with her tales of the sea and we’re off to the seaside for a special boat trip to meet her! Interactive storytelling, puppetry, play, original live music and song combine in this gentle and engaging theatre performance telling the story of Granny Pearl; a granny who’s 103 and happens to be… a mermaid!
Suitable for 0-6 years

PETER AND THE WOLF
SUN 5 JULY / 2PM
Peter & the Wolf is a magical new production of Sergei Prokofiev’s much-loved musical masterpiece, featuring live music and dance.
Created especially for children aged 2-7 years and their grown-ups, this enchanting show introduces little ones to orchestral instruments, where each sound brings a different character to life. Now reimagined as a playful, theatrical and sensory dance experience, this timeless tale unfolds through movement, music and storytelling.
Suitable for 2-7 years (and their grown ups)

GEEKY BEATS
SUN 5 JULY / 3.30PM
Critical Hits! celebrates anime, video game, movie, and TV soundtracks, all reimagined with a unique jazzy twist. South London-based Geeky Beats brings pop culture classics to life with traditional big band flair in a show you won’t want to miss.
Suitable for all ages

SANSKRUTI DANCE
SUN 5 JULY / 4PM
Aranyani, Goddess of forests and the wild, is dying. To recover – and for the plants and animals that she supports to thrive – she needs nourishment and balance in the world. It is down to a spiritual Sage and a Scientist – and you, the audience – to discover how to save her.
Suitable for 7+ years

JULIAN GYPENS
SUN 5 JULY / 5PM
The show smashes two contradictory art-forms together in a daring balancing act. Where the tale of a man and his tragic separation from his rear-end is woven with choreography and gags. Can this comedian reunite with his long-lost buns, or is he cursed to dance with nothing to shake?
Suitable for 18+